Cold

It is raining and is cold. So is my heart. The coldness doesn't numb me. Instead, all my senses are so keen. I said no to all activities. I think I need some alone time to retro my days, years, rather than escaping the fact. I tried to exercise and yet the endorphin did not suppress the sadness. Neither did the video games. I have tried hard to kill times, to resist against the negative thoughts, to think less, and to find a way to heal. I told myself crying as I want. You can imagine the eyes are always puffy. I look funny and I am cold.